Bowl-a-rama (For lack of a better title)
by TT17
Summary: Humor attempt inspired by bowling...yeah, bowling.


Author: TT17 (tomturbo17@hotmail.com)  
Disclaimer wa: I don't own Voltron.  
Rating: age 16 and above seems appropriate...maybe younger maybe older depending....  
Story: Bowl-a-rama...for lack of a better title  
  
Begin Fanfiction:  
Merla happily sat ine her commander's chair as she happily drank her happy iced drink and happily felt...happy.  
"I RULE!!!" She spontaneously shouted. Her crew immediately resoponded with affirmative hails and furvent nods.  
"Let's go terrorize something!" She then added cheerfully. The crew hailed her brilliant idea and went in search of something to terrorize.  
Luckily, Arus was nearby, and Merla's sleek warship headed towards it sleekly.  
"Is sleekly a word?" Merla asked to nobody in particular. He answered, "Whatever you wish, mistress."   
Merla drummed her fingers and smirked. "Excellent." She smiled.  
"We have reached Arus!" One of Merla's helmsman, er....helmswomen spoke up. "Yay! Let's go visit Allura and kidnap Keith and then dangle cookies in front of Hunk and a new computer in front of Pidge and...."  
The pink-haired evil lady trailed off. "And then there's Lance...."  
Merla sat deep in thought, not quite sure how to terrorize Lance. "Oh duh! I know! We'll take him bowling!" She exclaimed as she stood in triumph of a well-formulated plan.  
"HUZZAH!" cheered the crew.  
"Yay for me!" Merla babbled as she began to dance a victory dance.  
When suddenly!!!  
  
The phone rang. It was Lotor, that sexy bitch. ^_^  
  
"Merla, what are you doing?!" Lotor demanded of her.  
"I'm sorry, I'm not Merla." Turbo replied.  
Lotor didn't even bother to apologize, instead he simply slammed the phone down and dialed Merla's number once more.  
"Hullo?"  
"Merla, what are you doing?!" Lotor demanded.  
"Look, I'm NOT Merla!" Turbo huffed. "You have the wrong number."  
"Ur! Maybe you have the wrong phone!" Lotor yelled as he slammed the phone once more, and once more picked it up and dialed.  
"Hullo?"  
"MERLA?!" The prince barked.  
"Nein. Ich bin Turbo." Turbo replied, getting rather agitated.  
"Can you GET Merla on this phone, or what?" Lotor growled.  
Turbo shook her head, which was unnecessary since Lotor couldn't see her. "Nope, sorry....hey, why don't you just call her pager or something. THAT might work."  
Lotor considered this before once again slamming down the phone.  
"HAGAR!!!" Lotor bellowed as he gave up on the telephone. "Ready my ships! I want to get that pink haired witch before she does anything drastic that would take away my overrated glory!!"  
  
Meanwhile back in Pennsylvania, a very sleep-deprived Turbo muttered obscenities to a now uplugged phone.  
  
LATER!!  
At the castle of Lions!  
  
"I love you!" Allura giggled happily.  
"I know!" Keith smiled calmly.  
Allura then got pretty stone-faced.  
"What do you mean by that?" She asked icily.  
"Erm...I...just...do?" Keith looked confused.  
"ARGH! MEN!!" Allura huffed as she stomped off into some other section of the castle.  
"Honey? I meant...I love you more? I mean, too! I mean....I LOVE PIE!!" Keith shouted frantically.  
"Not as much as I do!!" Hunk's voice floated in from some other quadrant of the castle.  
Keith crossed his arms and firmly replied, "I'M THE COMMANDER AND I LOVE PIE!!!!"  
Now it was Pidge's turn. "Are you going to get married?"  
Keith scowled some more, he could practically feel his blood boiling.   
"LISTEN! THAT IS NONSENSE! THE ONLY CREATURE I WANT----" Suddenly Keith lost his voice. He fell over gasping for water.  
"You called ME a creature?!" Allura gasped indignantly from the doorway.  
"WAH--TUR!!" Keith choked.  
Lance happily dumped a bucket of water on Keith.  
"Danke..." Keith said cheerfully.  
"De nada!" Lance replied in an equally cheerful tone.  
"Brats." Allura muttered. She then sighed. she then completely embraced Keith and stared yelling at him about puppies and being a postal worker. It was odd and it reminded Lance of this scene he had seen (he he) in a French movie once. Luckily the movie had subtitles and he could follow the story.  
"Keith and Allura, sitting in a tree! F-U-C----"  
WHAP!!!  
"Shut up, Lance." Keith murmered from somewhere within Allura's embrace.  
  
AT THAT MOMENT!!!  
  
The castle shook violently. And then came the laughter. The evil malicious laughter.  
"I hear evil malicious laughter!" Allura said as she pulled away from her beloved.  
"Protect me!" Keith squealed as he dove to Allura's side. "That is SO pitiful." Lance admonished from behind the couch. He then moved to a safer spot beneath the bed.  
  
Merla! Queen of Darkness! entered the room.  
Behind her several lackeys wre teasing Hunk with a bunch of cookies.  
"That's cruel and unusual punishment!" Pidge piped in. Merla snapped her fingers, and another lackey held out a shiny new computer. Pidge immediately turned into a puddle of goo. Merla cackled some more before sauntering her way over to Allura and Keith.  
They all said their hellos and sat down for a nice cup of tea. Except for Keith. He drank coffee.  
"So what brings you to Arus, Merla?" The Princess asked politely. Merla beamed. "The usual! Kidnap Keith, antagonize Hunk and Pidge, make fun of your wardrobe, take Lance bowling..."  
"I HATE BOWLING!!" Lance shouted angrily from under the bed.  
"But, honey! We'll have BUMPERS this time!"  
Lance muttered something about how he doubted it.  
"Didn't we do this last Friday?" Keith sighed, irritated.  
"And wasn't it fun?!" Merla smiled.  
They all pondered this for a moment.  
"Well, it IS better than Lotor's plans." HUnk interjected after managing to get a cookie. And just any cookie.  
A Snooker-doodle!!  
"Yeah, mm, true." Allura and Keith nodded.  
"Wonderful! Keith, you're my prisoner. Come, Lance! Let us bowl for the fate of your commander!"  
  
SOMEWHERE ELSE!!  
  
Lotor irritantly tapped at his command chair.  
"Iced drink?" One of his harem girls offered.  
"Nm!" He grunted as he accepted the Strawberry Ecstacy.  
"This isn't Pink Heaven!" He roared.  
Hagar sighed. "No, your royal putridness. We don't have any cows to make Pink Heaven."  
Lotor stared at the Strawberry Ecstacy for a moment before he began to whine. "I want my Pink Heaven!"  
Hagar again sighed. "Look, nimwit, we don't have any cows!"  
"Oh! You called me a bad name! You...treacherous...filth! Cossack!!" Lotor snapped his fingers and immediately his bumbling aid was by his side.  
"Yes, your majesty?" Cossack bowed deeply, bu lacking grace, he stumbled and fell over.  
"Kill that traitor!!" Lotor commanded, whilst pointing to Hagar.  
"Yes, your majesty!" Cossack replied from the floor. When he got up his vision was a little blurry, and he accidentally killed the helmsman. Well, more like gave him a Vulcan Nerve Pinch. Or more like...well, needless to say, but necessary to say anyway, Cossack missed his target.  
"That boy needs therapy." Hagar cackled.  
"Pink Heaven!" Lotor whined.  
  
IN ANOTHER WORLD!!!  
(At the Arusian Bowling Alley to be exact.)  
  
"I'm winning!" Merla beamed as she got another strike.  
"SCORE!!" Allura cried blissfully.  
"Heh, she knocked those pins up alright!" Hunk nodded. Pidge groaned.  
Lance was sweating profusely as he stared down the lane. True to her word, for once, Merla had requested bumpers be placed up for their game. So Lance was at least scoring....a little bit....  
"Go Lance Go Go!!!" The team cheered from the side. "Please!" Keith added desperately. Lance began to feel desperate. The last time this situation had occured, they had all been saved by Lotor's prompt rampant evil robeast.  
"Darn Merla and her evil moods!" Lance muttered as he swung his ball and released.  
One pin fell over.  
"SCORE!!!" Allira cried ever so blissfully.  
Merla's cohorts gave a polite golf clap.  
Lance writhed in agony.  
"This sucks!!!" He yelled at Merla.  
She just shrugged and mentioned that she was looking forward to getting a touchdown later. Allura mentioned this wasn't the proper sport to get a touchdown in, to which Merla responded she wasn't talking about bowling. Keith turned a peculiar shade of red then.  
"Go Lance! Swing that blue ball!" Keith shouted hysterically. Lance swallowed hard and swung the ball. It landed with a heavy thud and went rolling down the lane....one more pin.  
"GAME!" Pidge bounded happily over, his new computer in tow.  
"That's Lance....26 points....Merla! The winner and still champion..."  
There was a hushed silence as everyone waited for the release of the score.  
"I like your flaming pink ball, by the way." Allura said. Merla smiled. "It suits me."  
"Three hundred! Perfect score!!"  
Merla's crew applauded and some handsome fellow placed a bouquet of flowers around her head.  
"I RULE!" she exclaimed with a happy enthusiasm, ans she happily skipped over to claim her prize.  
"Come on, Keith!" She smiled devilishly. "Let's go play Twister!"  
Keith quickly called for help.  
  
MEANWHILE!!  
At that very place in time!  
A giant robeast crashed into the bowling alley.  
"I'M SAVED!!" Keith squealed happily.  
"Oh phooey." Merla muttered as she put the commander down. "Off to your lions, go go...we'll just have to do this again."  
"Oh please no..." Lance whimpered.  
"Come on, team! To the lions!" Keith shouted ecstatically, and the Voltron Force ran off to pummel the robeast.  
  
Later! After Lotor's robeast has been defeated!!!  
  
"I was defeated again!" Lotor muttered dejectedly.  
"This is all..." Lotor scanned his crew quickly, and picked out the male that most rivaled his beauty...  
"YOUR fault! Cossack!!" He snapped.  
"Yes, your majesty?"  
"Kill him!"  
"Yes your majesty!"  
Cossack tripped on his feet and never finished the task.  
  
Just then!!  
  
Merla, Queen of Bowling, entered the command deck. "Lotor, darn you! My evilness was going so well!"  
She hefted Lotor up over her shoulder and began to walk off.  
"Where are you taking me?!" Lotor said, slightly scared.  
"Urm...I want to play Twister, darnit! And if I can't have the commander lad..." She trailed off, a malicious smile crossing her face.  
"Oh geez, I just wanted some Pink Heaven." Lotor groaned.  
"I'll show you Pink Heaven." Merla cackled as she flicked her hair and hauled a stunned Prince away.  
Hagar then cackled, too. She thought it was funny.  
  
End!! 


End file.
